Just Forget About It
by StarkLovesShawarma
Summary: After Stu finds out he's had sex with a hermaphrodite and Phil gets shot in the arm, the rebellious school teacher tries to take the dentist's mind off of things. Stu/Phil.


**Just saw The Hangover 2 for the second time last night. The first time I saw it I kind of wanted to write something for this category, but I couldn't think of a plot that would be solid enough. Well, after watching the sequel for the second time I found that the scene where they're outside of the strip club is perfect for some slash moments. Enjoy!**

**I do not own The Hangover 2. **

Stu grabbed at his hair, leaned over, and felt as though he was going to puke up every drop of alcohol that he had sucked down last night. He couldn't believe that he just found out he had sex with some weird…half-man, half-woman Thai prostitute. Of course, Phil was laughing at the entire situation. No matter how fucked up something got, the rebellious school teacher always found humor in the darkest, sickest things, especially when he found out his best friend got fucked in the ass by a hermaphrodite last night. This was it for Stu, the last straw.

"I'm done! I'm fucking done with all of this shit!" Stu screamed, his eyebrows knitted painfully together as he jumped frantically. Alan was ignoring his outbursts, still confused about how such beautiful Asian women could have penises. Phil choked down a laugh, walking up to the dentist.

"Stu. Stu calm down, everything is gonna be alright," Phil attempted to reassure him, only to get a weird and goofy look back from Stu.

"Oh yeah! Everything is gonna be great!" Stu shrugged his shoulders up sarcastically, shaking his head and smiling. "I GOT FUCKED IN THE ASS BY A HERMAPHRODITE PHIL! EVERYTHING IS NOT GOING TO BE ALRIGHT!" He suddenly screamed, his expression falling completely and deadly serious. Phil sighed, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose in aggravation.

"Listen Stu, I've done some fucked up shit and look at me! I'm fine! All you have to do is forget about it, and I promise you, you'll be fine." Phil's hands were gripping around the dentist's shoulders, shaking his softly. Looking at his best friend from behind his frameless glasses, Stu's eyes seemed to be calmer, feeling as though Phil was right. Even as they stood outside of a dingy strip club in the middle of Bangkok, Stu felt that he and Phil had never been closer in their friendship.

Meanwhile, Alan still had the confused and weirded-out look on his face, but he had occupied himself with playing with the strange little monkey they had found previously in their hotel room. He had become attached to the creature, maybe because it was just as odd as he was. But the quirky friendship seemed as though it was about to come to an end as two men seated on a motorcycle screeched up into the alley.

"Give us the monkey!" A rough looking man with a Russian accent screamed, pulling out a pistol from behind his jacket. Phil and Stu immediately crouched down, covering their heads, but Alan just stood, hugging the ape to his chest protectively.

"Are you crazy Alan? He's waving a gun at you, GIVE HIM THE FUCKING MONKEY!" Stu yelled, still covering his head. Alan looked unsure, but sadly, he handed the small monkey to the man, who continued to hop onto the back of the motorcycle, speeding down the alley.

"Hey! Hey wait! Why did you-" Phil stood up and ran down the pavement after the thugs, only to regret his actions. The man who held the monkey whipped out the gun one more time, aiming it at Phil and taking a shot, and not missing. The school teacher's eyes went wide, his body falling to the dirty asphalt.

"MY FUCKING ARM!" he groaned loudly, Alan and Stu racing toward him. The dentist held the wound that the bullet had made, watching blood begin to seep through the spaces of his fingers. His heart raced, looking down at Phil with watering eyes.

"You're gonna be alright Phil," he told him sternly, Alan and himself getting Phil to his feet, making their way onto the street and hailing a taxi.

* * *

><p>That night in the disgusting hotel room, Stu laid wide awake in his bed, partly because he was afraid some sort of bug would crawl across his face, and partly because his mind was on Phil. For the past couple of hours, Stu hadn't even been thinking of his fiancé's lost little brother, Teddy.<p>

"_One step to my left and I would've been dead..." _Was the sentence that kept running through the dentist's mind, the horrible event of Phil getting shot bothering him to the very core. What if he had been just a couple of inches to his left? One of his best friends he had known since grade school would be long gone.

"Phil. Phil, wake up," Stu rolled over in the springy bed, facing his friend, who lay next to him. The hotel room wasn't too small for him to sleep somewhere else, but the bunks were being taken up by Chow and Alan, and Phil hadn't had the courage to slumber on the couch after they came in earlier and saw a gigantic cockroach crawling up from the depths of its cushions.

"Ngh..." The long haired man mumbled, the weight of Stu's hand on his shoulder bringing him out of sleep. "What Stu?"

The dentist paused for a moment, not being entirely sure why he had woken up his friend in the first place. The tribal tattoo on his face suddenly began to itch, so he scratched at it nervously, looking into Phil's tired blue eyes. "...Are you okay?"

Phil stared at his best friend, half awake and wondering why in the hell he had woken him up from the amazing sleep he was having. "Yes Stu, I'm fine. Is that really the only reason you woke me up?"

"No," Stu blurted out quickly, feeling embarrassed and hot for some reason.

"Well then, what is it?" Phil was wide awake now, leaned over on his side to hold eye contact with the dark haired man lying next to him. Stu blinked nervously, knowing that Phil was probably going to notice his usual anxious antics.

Finally, he spoke up. "Earlier behind the strip club...when you got shot, I just can't get the thought of you being a step over out of my mind. It was such a close call..." Stu admitted, feeling like a little kid confessing something to his mother.

"Look, the important thing is I'm not dead. I'm fine Stu, really." The teacher smiled softly at his friend, eyes raking over his face. "You know...Lauren's a lucky girl to have a guy like you, Stu."

The dentist's expression turned into one of surprise, not expecting his rebellious friend to say something so...well, sweet. Eyeing him, Stu thought that his friend was just pulling another one of his stupid jokes on him, but Phil's face was completely serious, like a heart attack.

"Well uh...thanks Phil, that means a lot," Stu confessed, smiling back at his friend.

"I'm being serious Stu. She really is a lucky lady...even if you do have this ridiculous tattoo on your face," Phil brought his arm up from underneath the thin yellow comforter that was covering his body, his fingers suddenly running over the fresh tattoo that was stuck against Stu's temple. The dentist was prepared to laugh at that comment, but as he felt the sensation of Phil's fingertips tracing the outline of his tribal ink, he was as still as a mountain, a shiver running down his spine. "Phil...What are you doing?"

The long haired man smirked at this, scooting a little closer underneath the sheets. "Just shut up for once Stu," Phil smiled, his palm lying flat on the side of his best friend's face, fingers sifting through the back of his short and tousled hair. Before Stu could even protest, Phil was pressed up against his body, his lips working over his mouth in a soft kiss.

"Ph-Phil, s-stop I-," Stu tried, only to have his mouth attacked again, the school teacher's lips parting over his. The dentist's eyes went wide behind his glasses as he began to taste the warm sensation of Phil's tongue sliding over his own. The fingers that nested in the back of his hair were now pulling his face closer, his own mouth opening fully and lips curling around his friend's.

As Phil continued to kiss his way down Stu's neck, the shorter man groaned, feeling his friend's stubble scratch against his smooth skin, and hands feeling their way down his body. "Phil, w-why?" he managed out, his own hands now gripping at his friend's sweaty, long hair.

"I wanted to get your mind off of everything...just relax Stu, I'm good at this," Phil grinned against his friend's collarbone, his voice sounding cocky and confident. Still being confused and unsure, the only thing Stu _was_ sure of at the moment was that this felt damn good, and it was a good change from all the fucked up shit that had been happening to him in the last twenty-four hours. By the time that Phil was standing on his knees and unzipping his pants, Stu couldn't even recall his fiancé's name.


End file.
